How Do You Identify Yourself?

How do you identify yourself?  A year ago, I would have identified myself as a mom, a wife, a Christian, a friend, sister, cousin, daughter, aunt, coach, driver, maid, chef.  Perhaps the label I would have given myself, but never told anyone about is "the fat girl."  Funny, I would never give someone else that label. I save it for myself.  Why? I guess it was just to bring myself down, to keep that fear of success in the back of my mind.

I have been thinking about these labels a lot lately.  These labels I give myself are who I am. They shape my thinking (and my thinking shapes them).  Now that I have started running, I have time to think about these labels.  Side note: Typically, the first half of my run is spent in prayer (and not just about praying I survive the run).  This is where I give my cares to God, and my burdens go from my shoulders to His.  He is definitely more capable of taking care of my worries than I am. 

Now, the second half of my runs are spent clearing my mind of the things that were rolling around in there that weren't cleared out by the prayer session.  Sometimes, I think about those labels, especially the fat girl one.  Oh sure, I can gloss over it and think about what I need to cook for dinner (chef), what time sports practices are (coach and driver), what needs cleaned (maid), or even where my husband is traveling for his job this week (wife).  I always come back to the fat girl label.  When I started running with Casey (http://thefatfoodieandfriends.blogspot.com/) back in August 2010, I would complain about the way my fat would jiggle on the running portions of our Couch to 5K training plan (http://www.coolrunning.com/engine/2/2_3/181.shtml).  This jiggling just increased that fat girl label in my head. Thank God that I had Casey running with me then.  I would likely have given up.  Sure I would have given excuses about how I should lose some weight before I started a running program. Then I would like running because I wouldn't have the jiggling.  Truthfully, I wasn't going to like running no matter what at that time. The fat girl just complained about the jiggling because of her fear of success. This past Saturday, I ran just over 7 miles for the first time in my life.  7 MILES!!!! That was a lot of time to think about those labels.

For those of you who knew me last summer and have seen me recently, there is a significant difference in the way I look.  It wasn't like I was on the Biggest Loser television show. The change in me was not that dramatic, but through Weight Watchers (http://www.weightwatchers.com/) and running, I have made changes in my life.  I've dropped three clothing sizes.  You will see me in the same clothes over and over again, because I only have a few that fit.  I think I own more workout clothes now than clothes that are not workout clothes.

I still think about the fat girl label, especially when I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror.  I wonder who that person is and then I remember that I am seeing myself again.  I have dropped that fat girl label.  I needed a label to replace it.  I replaced "fat girl" with "runner" after that 7 mile run on Saturday.  On Saturday morning, I was a person who likes to run.  On Saturday afternoon, after 7 miles of grueling hills (those of you who have driven in my neighborhood will shout AMEN to that one at the thought of running them), I began to think of myself as a runner.  Runner:  I like that.  I think I will keep that one.

The next time I am asked to describe myself, I will use that label.  I will tell people that I am a runner.

Happy Running everyone!

I'm BACK!

I've been absent from the blog for a couple of weeks.  I have really missed it. My laptop crashed and my husband had to rebuild it.  Praise God that I married Jeremy, otherwise known as the Jack of all trades.  I could have used the desktop computer, but I LOVE my laptop. I only sit at the desktop computer in the wee morning hours to check email only.  Otherwise, I'm on the desktop for syncing the iPhone.  When I sit at the desktop computer, my back is to the rest of the family.  I have three kids.  NEVER TURN YOUR BACK ON THE KIDS! 

I have been keeping up with the workouts, but they haven't been pretty.  I had a particularly rough 5 mile run on 1/22/11.  It was the slowest pace I have run yet, and that is really saying something, because I make the tortoise look fast.  I'm ok with that.  I'm definitely not running for the prizes in the races.  I'm a bit more relaxed than that.  You would laugh if you could see me as a spectator or coach when one of my kids compete.  I am the furthest thing from being competitive when I am doing something. When my kids are competing, I am over the top!  I do try to keep it in check as I have seen some of those youTube videos of psycho wrestling moms, and I do not want to end up on youTube in that context.

Other changes are happening around here as well. Since my last post, I have started working for Weight Watchers.  I am currently training to be a receptionist.  WOW! There is so much to do as a Weight Watchers receptionist.  I love it.  Also, that keeps me close and in treatment.  That weighing once per month and knowing it is being sent to the territory director is motivating to get my booty moving.

Thanks for all my comments on my blog!  I appreciate reading them all!  I'm loving that I'm getting to meet people online through running!

Signing off for now. It is time to lace up the angelic running shoes. Take care and keep running.